The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers

Unlike the film, this will be short: The Two Towers is one of the worst films I've ever seen in my life.

...

The second book is much better than the first. Far more action and a much deeper understanding of characters and plot development etc. A lot of variety. No fucking Shire. It's a lot better. The film however, holy shit, it takes the turd of the first one look like a masterpiece in comparison.

The pacing and editing sucks. The film keeps bouncing back and forth between our two sets of adventurers like it has Tourette's at the beginning. The acting is wooden as a baseball bat. Who is this Orlando Bloom guy? He sucks. Gimli, while playing such a generic Dwarf, is good. And Aragorn is decent. Everyone else is as spoon. Even Treebeard, who is actually made of wood (in theory), has more dimension than some of these human actors.

The CGI? For fuck's sake. It's terrible and I imagine it will be laughed at if it already isn't being laughed at. When you have such a tale...don't try and tackle it with technology that simply can't do it justice. You make yourself look crap and you do an injustice to the original text.

So yeah, four fucking hours of my life watching this god damn thing. And like a masochist, I will watch the third installment after I finish the final book.

Rubbish.

Man Vs. Snake: the Long and Twisted Tale of Nibbler

I've never heard of the old school video game Nibbler, but I'll watch a doc on anything.

This is an engrossing doc about the sixteen year old nerd who was the first person ever to score one BILLION points on an arcade game in the 80's. He sets the high score on Nibbler and over two decades later the challenge is thrown down. Now in his 40's, our protagonist is back at it, trying to demolish the competition in a 44 hour non-stop gaming marathon...all on one quarter.

Highly recommended.

CT Fletcher: My Magnificent Obsession

If you lift you've probably heard of CT Fletcher. He's a big dude with an even bigger mouth. He's a YouTube star and he yells at his biceps and, "commands them to grow!" He says "motherfucker" a LOT. So he's rather entertaining at first, but he gets old.

Enter this documentary. It's by the same guy who did Generation Iron. Both docs are really freakin' good. Once you watch this you will have a different perspective on CT Fletcher. He doesn't yell all the time. He's really a pretty freakin cool dude. I dig him.

From world champion weight-lifter to open heart surgery to YouTube star to gym owner. It's an interesting story and it makes for compelling viewing. Definitely recommended.

I command you to watch it, motherfucker.

Gimme Danger

I went to the DFT with Mr. Jason Pearce to see Gimme Danger. It was pretty cool. Unfortunately I wasn't able to get tickets for the night that Jim and Iggy were doing Q&A, though. I was on "you might have a baby alert" for that night.

Anyway, the doc was good but not amazing. Lots of talking head stuff and various live footage. It's well done. Interviews with all the relevant people.

Sometimes you can watch amazing documentaries about boring subjects, and sometimes you see boring docs about amazing subjects. I think Gimme Danger is a good doc about an incredible band. But I was kinda left wanting a little bit more out of the doc. I can't put my finger on it.

Deathgasm

I had Deathgasm on my Netflix queue. McCracken told me it was a good flick so I bumped it up in priority. I just finished a book on Black Metal so it seemed like a fitting movie to watch immediately after.

I really enjoyed it. It's a really funny movie, assuming you like metal. I don't know how you'd feel if you weren't in on all the inside jokes, though. It's kinda like you took Dead Alive and mixed it with Napoleon Dynamite and threw in a bunch of metal gags. It's a Kiwi film and has that Kiwi sense of humor. Very over the top and sarcastic.

The only thing that sucks is that it starts off with about three references to fucking Trivium. So you think it's gonna suck. But later references to Emperor, Burzum, Mayhem, etc, make up for the less than auspicious start.

METAL UP YOU ASS!

Black Metal: Evolution of the Cult

Do you like black metal? If not, skip this book. If so, buy this book. It's essential reading on the genre.

Dayal takes a relatively nonjudgemental trip down memory lane as he examines the roots and history of black metal. Each chapter is pretty much dedicated to a single band. They flow in chronological order, and it makes for quick reading.

Only a couple chapters were snoozers and you can skip them; who cares about NSBM or Polish black metal? Not me. While I don't care for industrial black metal, those chapters were interesting because of the extreme characters involved in those bands.

Overall this is a really good read and I definitely recommend it to scholars of the genre. I'm glad I picked up his second book on the topic, "The Cult Never Dies Vol. 1." Decibel just put that out and I'll be reading that later this year.

RIP Euronymous. Gonna cop his stye for the gym, though. 

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

In a nutshell: this fucking sucked.

...

Marie read all the Harry Potter novels recently and watched the corresponding movie after she finished each book. While I have no interest in Harry Potter, I was reading LOTR and decided that watching the movie after each book might be interesting.

I've seen at least one of the movies before. Maybe even two of them. I know I never saw the third. And thought they both sucked. But it's been over a decade and I figured I'd give them a second chance simply because I was reading the book. I hoped that watching the films might give me some sort of perspective I missed. Or give me a different understanding. I hoped...

Nope, I was right; they still suck.

99% of CGI is shitty, and when your whole film's premise relies heavily on CGI you have a recipe for garbage. There's one notable exception to this and that's Sin City (which is a masterpiece). But that is the exception to the rule. They used CGI to stylize things and not to try and replicate real life or to trick the viewer. So in Sin City's case it's actually an immersive experience because you're NOT being tricked. Your eye doesn't focus on the things that are slightly off. Because they don't exist. Nothing is slightly off. It's awesome. But LOTR tries to blend stunning New Zealand scenery with CGI and it fails miserably. Nothing takes you out of immersion like the fake physics and unnatural lighting of CGI.

So, even if the CGI didn't suck you still had to put up with the wooden acting. Who are these people? Did they actually hire SPOONS to act? With the budget blown on CGI that must be the only answer. Animated spoons.

Seas Astin (as Sam) is probably the most convincing. He seems the most like his character to me. Elijah Wood is too much of a pansy. But he' alright. Liv Tyler is incredibly hot but an actor she is not. Overall, everyone plays their role like they're in a Western. It's all stoicism with the occasional ray of emotion peeking through every once in a while.

You know what would have ruled? If this was an anime. That would have been killer.

Am I going to watch the other two? Yup.

Like a sadist, I will watch the other two after I read the next two books. FML.

Confession of a Buddhist Atheist

I can't remember where I picked this book up from. Maybe it was that same bookapalooza event or whatever it was called a couple years ago. Anyway...Buddhist, Atheist? I'm in. Sign me up.

This book really approaches Buddhism from a different angle. The author takes a far more historically accurate and slightly more objective look into the life of the Buddha. Batchelor's angle is to strip away the social context and influence of India 2500 years ago, and just find Siddhartha Gotuma's unique personal teachings. Best example I can give would be the idea of reincarnation. That concept predates Buddhism. It was a Hindu idea at the time that was commonly accepted, so it made its way into what we know as Buddhism. It's a core tenet of Buddhism, in fact. But was it the Buddha's teaching? Or was that merely an artifact of the time in which he lived?

I've always viewed Buddhism as a philosophy first and foremost, and religion second. A lot of people approach it that way. There are plenty of Buddhist Jews or Buddhist Christians for instance. Hell, there are Buddhist Christian Monks. It's definitely not contrary or antagonistic to be a Buddhist AND hold some sort of religious faith (if that's your thing).

Batchelor sees Buddhism in a similar light. He was an ordained monk for over a decade, he was a disciple of the Dalai Lama and lived with him at Dharmsala, he's taught Buddhism all over the world, etc, but he ultimately disrobed, adopted a lay life and got married.

His "thing" is that he started to feel like a fraud when it came to some of the 'mystical' aspects of Buddhism, if you will. Buddhism is all about questioning things and all about empirical research and experience, but what if you question something as fundamental as reincarnation? Is that taking it too far? Can you still be Buddhist? What the hell happens to the concept of karma if you don't believe in reincarnation?

This is the kind of stuff that he tackles in this book. That, and he really does a pretty good deep dive on the true history of the Buddha. For starters, he wasn't a prince. Yeah, this book has some revelations. Well, at least it did for me.

Overall, it was a pretty good book. It's definitely a different angle and I really appreciated that fresh approach, especially considering I'm atheist and Buddhist. It was good to read a book from a renowned ex-monk who essentially says, "that's okay," "that's not in conflict."


Om mani padme hum

Fresh Dressed

This flick is actually quite a bit better than the trailer lets on. It looks a bit too glossy and superficial, but the movie comes off deeper and more down to earth than that.

Anything that starts in 1970's NYC with the classic era gangs is gonna be good. This doesn't disappoint. The documentary charts the origins of hip hop fashion to the NY boroughs when NY was straight up living "the Warriors." It takes it from there to the birth of hip hop via the b-boys and rides the wave to current day innovators. We see rappers starting their own labels like Rocawear, Wu Wear, and Sean Jean, and even before that we see street wear become "a thing."

There are some pretty cool interviews with local cats from back in the day, as well as big name rappers in the game like Nas and Kanye, etc.

I really dug this look back at hip hop fashion. Definitely worth a watch on Netflix if you like hip hop at all.

Wooooord. Woooooooord.

21 Days Under the Sky

Can't remember where I found out about this. Maybe it just popped up in my Netflix queue. Anyway, it's a biker road trip flick made in part by Dice Magazine. So it has credentials.

Four dudes ride from SF to NY in three weeks. A pretty awesome ride by anyone's standards. Would love to take that on.

They ride some pretty rad Harley choppers. Sissy bars, extended front ends with exaggerated rake, Coker tires, you know the drill. I wanna know where that dude got his serape vest. It's nice. But anyway...the bikes are legit.

The soundtrack is pretty good. But overall the movie is pretty shallow. You don't get to know any of the characters. It's just about getting some nice, artistic shots of the bikes traveling cross-country. Nothing more, nothing less. They try and weave in some sort of commentary on America and the history of bikers...but it's still pretty shallow.

It's not very long. I'd definitely recommend you watch it if you ride bikes or dig choppers. For sure.