Tuesday, October 25, 2016


I had Deathgasm on my Netflix queue. McCracken told me it was a good flick so I bumped it up in priority. I just finished a book on Black Metal so it seemed like a fitting movie to watch immediately after.

I really enjoyed it. It's a really funny movie, assuming you like metal. I don't know how you'd feel if you weren't in on all the inside jokes, though. It's kinda like you took Dead Alive and mixed it with Napoleon Dynamite and threw in a bunch of metal gags. It's a Kiwi film and has that Kiwi sense of humor. Very over the top and sarcastic.

The only thing that sucks is that it starts off with about three references to fucking Trivium. So you think it's gonna suck. But later references to Emperor, Burzum, Mayhem, etc, make up for the less than auspicious start.


Black Metal: Evolution of the Cult

Do you like black metal? If not, skip this book. If so, buy this book. It's essential reading on the genre.

Dayal takes a relatively nonjudgemental trip down memory lane as he examines the roots and history of black metal. Each chapter is pretty much dedicated to a single band. They flow in chronological order, and it makes for quick reading.

Only a couple chapters were snoozers and you can skip them; who cares about NSBM or Polish black metal? Not me. While I don't care for industrial black metal, those chapters were interesting because of the extreme characters involved in those bands.

Overall this is a really good read and I definitely recommend it to scholars of the genre. I'm glad I picked up his second book on the topic, "The Cult Never Dies Vol. 1." Decibel just put that out and I'll be reading that later this year.

RIP Euronymous. Gonna cop his stye for the gym, though. 

Sunday, October 16, 2016

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

In a nutshell: this fucking sucked.


Marie read all the Harry Potter novels recently and watched the corresponding movie after she finished each book. While I have no interest in Harry Potter, I was reading LOTR and decided that watching the movie after each book might be interesting.

I've seen at least one of the movies before. Maybe even two of them. I know I never saw the third. And thought they both sucked. But it's been over a decade and I figured I'd give them a second chance simply because I was reading the book. I hoped that watching the films might give me some sort of perspective I missed. Or give me a different understanding. I hoped...

Nope, I was right; they still suck.

99% of CGI is shitty, and when your whole film's premise relies heavily on CGI you have a recipe for garbage. There's one notable exception to this and that's Sin City (which is a masterpiece). But that is the exception to the rule. They used CGI to stylize things and not to try and replicate real life or to trick the viewer. So in Sin City's case it's actually an immersive experience because you're NOT being tricked. Your eye doesn't focus on the things that are slightly off. Because they don't exist. Nothing is slightly off. It's awesome. But LOTR tries to blend stunning New Zealand scenery with CGI and it fails miserably. Nothing takes you out of immersion like the fake physics and unnatural lighting of CGI.

So, even if the CGI didn't suck you still had to put up with the wooden acting. Who are these people? Did they actually hire SPOONS to act? With the budget blown on CGI that must be the only answer. Animated spoons.

Seas Astin (as Sam) is probably the most convincing. He seems the most like his character to me. Elijah Wood is too much of a pansy. But he' alright. Liv Tyler is incredibly hot but an actor she is not. Overall, everyone plays their role like they're in a Western. It's all stoicism with the occasional ray of emotion peeking through every once in a while.

You know what would have ruled? If this was an anime. That would have been killer.

Am I going to watch the other two? Yup.

Like a sadist, I will watch the other two after I read the next two books. FML.