Savage Abduction

When you've seen as many motorcycle flicks as we have, you start trolling the depths at a certain point. And you dredge up things like Savage Abduction.

I knew going into it that the motorcycle pedigree was going to be dubious. It's really more of a crap slasher/exploitation film that has a hint of motorcycle madness to it. The main characters are in a motorcycle gang, but the film doesn't revolve around gang activity with glorious shots of bikers on their hogs in the Arizona desert. No.

What this film lacks in biker activity it makes up for in...well, it doesn't make up for it. But it does have a good actor in it, which is a rarity. There's a serial killer who blackmails a rich client into procuring two young girls for him to kill. Whoever played the serial killer is pretty legit. He was creepy. The bikers were not legit. Their prez wore what appeared to be a bedazzled jacket and pants. Looks like he time-travelled to the present day and bought them at Buckle. Not cool.

Also, there's nary a boob to be seen. Disappointing.

The poster is cool, but the film...meh.

Black Road: Issues 1 through 5

I went to my local comic book shop and asked them about any new Viking books that were out. The young lass pointed me towards a new series called BLACK ROAD. I subsequently picked up the first five issues. Why not. Brian Wood from Northlanders is part of the creative team. It's gotta be good.

IT IS!

Black Road is the emerging story of Magnus the Black. He's a Viking. He's big and bald. And he kicks ass. So far it's the age old story of pagans versus Christians. Blood is shed. The Christian oppressors wield their weapons in the name of conversion to their faith. 'Twas a rough time for all.

If you lament the demise of the incredible but short-lived Northlanders, then definitely get this! I just wish it was further along so I could buy a collection in a TPB. You rip through the first five issues faster than a longsword through enemy flesh!

Hard-Core: Life of My Own

How could I not buy this? You kidding me? Even if it was half as good as John Joseph's it'd be worth the read. My only concern was that he'd write the whole thing in ALL CAPS and punctuate every sentence with random "HAHAHA"s. If you've read some of his facebook rants you know what I mean.

Anyway, shit was off the hook. Immediate comparison to JJ's book...well, they're very different. JJ's is longer and thus has more detail, and his tone is far more cinematic and dare I say...high-brow. It feels like JJ had a really strong Editor on his book and it's really well done. Harley's is definitely more gritty. Definitely more street. He doesn't hold back. It's not as "high-brow." It feels really conversational and less like a story or a movie. This book reads as if you were just hanging with Harley and he was spinning some yarns and tellin' some old tyme tales from the LES. He's not afraid to talk some shit. Shocker. It's awesome.

It doesn't matter which one is better. They're both gripping and insightful.

If you like hardcore then this is a must-read. No doubt.

Cro-Mag. Skinhead. Buy This. Nooooooooooowwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!

Best of 2016

The last three years in a row have seen me watch about 50 movies per year and read about 25 books. The high was in 2012 when I watched 100 movies. I actually thought I'd slowed down since last year, but I'm right where I was. 51 movies and 23 books. I think the bigger swing was the percentage of documentaries. I watched 34 this year.

Here's my run down of my favorites. I'd say that The Hateful Eight was in a whole other league as far as fiction goes. Hands down the best movie all year. And Oasis: Supersonic was one of the best documentaries I've seen in a long, long time. So those two are huge stand-outs for me. And yes, I think the Complete Chronicles of Conan is better than the Lord of the Rings. Sorry, but I know which one I'd bring on a desert island with me, and there are no Hobbits in it.

It was a really good year for music, imo. The first seven albums I listed are fucking awesome!!!




Top 5 Movies:

The Hateful Eight
Cool Hand Luke
Le Mans
Oasis: Supersonic
Bury Me an Angel


Top 5 Motorcycle Movies:

The Wild Angels
Bury Me an Angel
Satan's Sadists
Northville Cemetery Massacre
Road


Top 5 Documentary Movies:

Oasis: Supersonic
Generation Iron
Beltracchi: The Art of Forgery
Top Spin
The Class of '92


Top 10 Books:

The Complete Chronicles of Conan
The Lord of the Rings
Papillon
Only Death is Real
Black Metal: Evolution of the Cult
The Girl on the Train
Icons of Men's Style
Swedish Death Metal
Out of Sight
Murder in the Front Row


Top 10 Albums that came out in 2016:

Vanhelgd "temple of phobos"
Krypts "remnants of expansion"
Wretch s/t
40 Watt Sun “wider than the sky”
Blood Incantation "starspawn"
Sumerlands s/t
Eternal Champion “The Armor of Ire”
Asphyx "incoming death"
Escarnium “interitus”
Alcest "kodama"

Tampopo

It's Marie's birthday today so we went to the DFT for a movie and Woodbridge Pub for a delicious dinner last night. Tampopo is a Japanese film from 1985 that's been long out-of-print. It's gotten a 4k restoration and theatrical rerelease on the art house circuit.

Tampopo is a weird Ramen Western. It's a Western film set in Japan in the 80's. It's about a ramen shop, love, loss, redemption. There's a girl, there are thugs, and there's a cowboy. And there's a lot of noodles.

I don't like Westerns and I don't watch a lot of comedies, and this film is both. I thought it was quirky and original, but I was really put off by a couple of the food scenes because they weren't very vegetarian friendly, to say the least. For that reason alone I couldn't really like or recommend the film.

It's definitely a film for cinephiles and film historians. It's gotta be one of the first "foodie" movies, so to speak.

That's about all I can say on it. It's a good, unique, important film. But the meat scenes really turned me off.

Werewolves on Wheels

Watched this for a second time at Motorcycle Movie Night. You can see original review here. I rated it more harshly than I remember. I actually really dig it now. I've a lot more experience with motorcycle exploitation flicks so I know what a REAL shitty film looks like. And Werewolves on Wheels is significantly better than a  lot of the other ones I've seen. I totally back it.

Bikes. Boobs. Satan. Snakes. Werewolves. It's pretty bad ass.

Bosch: The Garden of Dreams

Bosch doc at the DFT? Date w/ Marie? Wouldn't miss it.

We went out to see this w/ a couple friends and then ate some good vegan nosh at Seva. All in all it was a very good evening.

The film was pretty good. It's essentially a whole doc on one painting. They got a variety of artists (poets, playwrights, fine artists, singers, writers, etc) to comment on the Garden of Earthly Delights. Some information was historically accurate, but most was just speculation and opinion.

Overall I think the film could have done w/ more cultural context surrounding the meaning of the painting. There's so much to look at and so many details that they could have had a field day explaining what some of it meant by talking to more art historians. Instead they focused on seemingly random interpretations by people who aren't formally educated on fine art. What can Salman Rushdie tell me about the Garden of Earthly Delights? I'd rather hear from an art history professor to be honest. Or even just a historian who could help unravel some of the weirdness going on in the painting.

It was still good and it was a very enjoyable night.

the Lord of the Rings

Homeboy waffles on too much at the beginning about a bunch of relations and history that no one gives a crap about. A bunch of stuff that has zero bearing on the rest of the story. All it does it stop you from enjoying the first book. It's like reading the bible or something. So-and-so begat this guy and he begat that guy etc.

Having said that, books two through six are pretty awesome. I'm not trying to knock Tolkien's masterpiece by bitching about the first book, but it's true. I think it's a barrier to getting immersed in the story.

It's a killer novel. The characters will live forever. It's worthy of all the praise. The visions Tolkien paints in your mind are truly spectacular and grand beyond belief. A genuine epic tale.

It'd be cool if someone at some point did a film adaptation justice with a cool movie or anime to remove Jackson's hideous attempts from memory.

Anyway, contrary to popular belief, TLOTR isn't a trilogy. It's one novel that's broken into six books and often divided into three volumes of two books each. FYI.

Loved it. Wished I could have read it faster but with the birth of River...well, finishing a 1000 page book as fast as I normally would certainly wasn't going to happen. The wee man can certainly monopolize my reading time.

A true classic.

Frazetta: Painting with Fire

Just watched this on Amazon. I'd heard about it for a while. It's a low budget doc, but it's official and I haven't heard of any better ones out there.  I watched it a few days ago but if I recall it was in 4:3. So yeah.

You learn a good deal about the man, though. It's definitely worth watching. I actually liked it better than the Giger one, for instance. It's a lot of talking head interviews with Frank, friends and family. I like that it goes back to his youth a lot. Definitely gives you a better understanding of Frank as opposed to just pouring over his art.

Dig it.

Future Shock: The Story of 2000AD

I was real freakin stoked when I saw this movie get released. Then I was quickly bummed out because it was a PAL-only format dvd. They weren't doing a US NTSC version. Something about not having distribution here. Teased!

Fast forward a few months and they finally got streaming rights in the US. I don't even care bout the dvd version now that I jumped on streaming it.

I watched it last night and I was a happy lad, transported back to Scotland. Transported to the local sweet shop where I'd go in every week and buy my issue of 2000AD and an accompanying bag of Pickled Onion Monster Munch or a Yorkie bar. mmmm....

This is a well-made doc about the origins and history of the ground-breaking British comic. It turned me on to Judge Dredd at an early age, and he's stuck with me through the years. Definitely one of my all time favorite characters. I loved the early shit. And just as important as Dredd was the introduction to Simon Bisley's artwork. I would stare at his pages for hours. Revisit the hell out of them. It didn't even matter what strip he was painting or whether it went over my young head or not. It was the art. The blood. The visceral nature of it all. Bisley is god.

Slaine: The Horned God by Bisley is one of the greatest comics ever created, imo. I can say that without hesitation.

I loved the hell out of Rogue Trooper, too. But anyway, I digress. This is a good doc for comic book nerds. It pulls back the curtain and sheds light on some of the darker days and the shadier aspects of working at 2000AD. But mostly it celebrates the good times and focuses on the great legacy of the anarchic, satirical, brilliant comic that I grew up on. It truly is the galaxy's greatest comic book.