Saturday, April 12, 2014

Hell's Belles


We closed out this season of Motorcycle Movie Night with AIP's "Hell's Belles."

If you watch the above trailer or look at the poster you'll come away with a skewed perspective. The film isn't about a gang of biker chicks. It's not even really about one biker chick. The main protagonist is a dude, who's got beef with the Prez of a shitty ass excuse for an M/C. And in the midst of having beef, stealing cycles and whatnot, there's a hot momma who gets passed around from pillar to post.

I gotta say, Jocelyn Lane (the aforementioned hot momma) is one of the hottest chicks I've ever seen. She had all of us enraptured. Her skirt, boots, tight shirt. Good god. Hair, face. She's fucking gorgeous. And for some faggy-ass reason "the Cowboy" in this film doesn't want anything to do with her. He's given her. And he won't take her. Fucking MORON!

I'll do whatever you say, Jocelyn.
Anyway, the soundtrack is pretty good. Fuzzy guitar stuff of the era. Coincidentally, Marie went to LA last week and came home with a copy of the Hell's Belles soundtrack on vinyl for me. Kick ass!

There are no boobs, no swazis, no rape, no pillage, no "real" biker gang unless you count these fruitcakes on scramblers wearing turtlenecks. It doesn't really hit all the bases. But it's still a legit biker film. Adam Rourke from Hells Angels on Wheels is in it. He's fucking great, man. But everyone else pretty much sucks.

This movie is well worth seeing just to be mesmerized by Jocelyn Lane. If she wasn't in it, it'd be a dud.



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