A Story Worth Living

A story worth living? Not this fucking story!

Worst.
Movie.
Ever.

A dozen of us went out to see this movie. We were all duped. And we all feel like vomiting right now. Most reacted with, "we need to go to a strip club right now!" We have to wash off the filth of the last 90 minutes in a cloud of glitter, perfume, cigarette smoke, and silicone. Watching that movie just makes you want to go out and do horrible things.

If you were writing your own story why the hell would it include the following; sitting around a campfire and talking to your friends about "love," talking with dudes about your favorite scene in Les Mis, pulling out a copy of the Chronicles of Narnia and reading a lame passage to your friends, and worst of all....taking 8 days to ride a measly 1000 miles?! Really? All you could muster on 75% blacktop was a shitty 125 miles a day? WTF. What kind of lame ass story is this?

Oh yeah, the kind of lame ass story where Jesus and the bible pop up every 10 minutes. The kind of shitty ass story where everything in the world is really just a metaphor for the bible. Star Wars? The bible. LOTR? The bible. Fuck off.

These guys were such pussies it just drove you to the brink of violence. Honestly.

I swear I thought we were watching Brokeback Mountain 2.

This movie gives motorcycle movies a bad name. There wasn't one swastika, rape, orgy, shooting, or drug fueled violent act the whole time. What is the world coming to, people?

I left before the movie was done. But if I had been there alone I would have walked out after 10 minutes. Seriously. Fuck this movie.