The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

In a nutshell: this fucking sucked.

...

Marie read all the Harry Potter novels recently and watched the corresponding movie after she finished each book. While I have no interest in Harry Potter, I was reading LOTR and decided that watching the movie after each book might be interesting.

I've seen at least one of the movies before. Maybe even two of them. I know I never saw the third. And thought they both sucked. But it's been over a decade and I figured I'd give them a second chance simply because I was reading the book. I hoped that watching the films might give me some sort of perspective I missed. Or give me a different understanding. I hoped...

Nope, I was right; they still suck.

99% of CGI is shitty, and when your whole film's premise relies heavily on CGI you have a recipe for garbage. There's one notable exception to this and that's Sin City (which is a masterpiece). But that is the exception to the rule. They used CGI to stylize things and not to try and replicate real life or to trick the viewer. So in Sin City's case it's actually an immersive experience because you're NOT being tricked. Your eye doesn't focus on the things that are slightly off. Because they don't exist. Nothing is slightly off. It's awesome. But LOTR tries to blend stunning New Zealand scenery with CGI and it fails miserably. Nothing takes you out of immersion like the fake physics and unnatural lighting of CGI.

So, even if the CGI didn't suck you still had to put up with the wooden acting. Who are these people? Did they actually hire SPOONS to act? With the budget blown on CGI that must be the only answer. Animated spoons.

Seas Astin (as Sam) is probably the most convincing. He seems the most like his character to me. Elijah Wood is too much of a pansy. But he' alright. Liv Tyler is incredibly hot but an actor she is not. Overall, everyone plays their role like they're in a Western. It's all stoicism with the occasional ray of emotion peeking through every once in a while.

You know what would have ruled? If this was an anime. That would have been killer.

Am I going to watch the other two? Yup.

Like a sadist, I will watch the other two after I read the next two books. FML.